Evangelizing Hogwarts
by DragonMistressOfRedemption888
Summary: Vanessa Riddle is called to join Headmistress Luna Lovegood in the attempt to rescue Hogwarts from the clutches of Satan. Protagonists (so far): Headmistress Luna Lovegood, Priestess Vanessa Riddle, Tal - Captain of the Host
1. Chapter 1

Maria sighed with loving adoration as her child lept into her arms. This child, though she may be the bastard daughter of the evil Lord Voldemort, was very precious to Maria. Maria had named her Vanessa and took care to shelter her from the backlash of the sins of her father. Maria even went so far as to renounce atheism and converted to Christianity.

Vanessa had perfectly sleek jet-black hair that hung down to the floor. Maria never had had the heart to cut it. The child had a face of angelic perfection, obviously a gift from the Lord. Vanessa's dark violet eyes had white-golden borders that anyone but a precious metals expert would mistake for silver.

Looking at her daughter, Maria always felt a tinge of envy. Maria's own black hair could never be as purely amazing as Vanessa's. No one ever had any qualms with cutting Maria's hair, except Maria, who liked it long. Maria's violet eyes could never be as dark and rich as Vanessa's. The silver borders of Maria's eyes looked like a joke when compared to the white-gold of her daughter's. All in all, Maria knew that she would always be plain, while her daughter would always be a goddess.

Vanessa remembered, just a minute ago, when Vanessa questioned her about her conversion to Christianity.

"Why did you convert to Christianity? What's so great about it?" Vanessa had asked, tilting her head in innocent curiosity.

"Well, there are many reasons, the main one being that we needed Jesus' protection from the backlash against anyone with relation to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. You are his daughter after all," she had explained, unable to say Voldemort's name, even after all these years.

The follow up question had been: "Well, how did you know that Jesus could protect us?"

"Well," she had answered, "a very good friend of mine from the Muggle world told me about him. I visited a church and went to the alter. At the alter, I felt the Holy Spirit come over me and I confessed my sins and converted to Christianity."

"Oh," Vanessa had said, nodding her head in understanding, "could you sing a song about Jesus for me, pretty please!"

Maria had laughed, jovial at her daughter's request, "How could I say no to that?"

She then had begun singing:

"_Everyone needs compassion, love that's never failing! Let mercy fall on me! Everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a savior, the hope of nations!_

"_Savior, he can move the mountains! My God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save! Forever, author of salvation! He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave!_

"_So take me as you find me, all my fears and failures! Fill my life again! I give my life to follow everything I believe in! Now I surrender!_

"_Savior, he can move the mountains! My God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save! Forever, author of salvation! He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave!_

"_Shine your light in, let the whole world see we're singing for the glory of the risen king, Jesus! Shine your light in, let the whole world see we're singing for the glory of the risen king!_

"_Oh my savior, you can move the mountains! You are mighty to save, you are mighty to save! Forever, author of salvation! You rose and conquered the grave, oh you conquered the grave!_

"_Oh my savior, you can move the mountains! You are mighty to save, you are mighty to save! Forever, author of salvation! You rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave!_

"_Shine your light in, let the whole world see we're singing for the glory of the risen king, Jesus! Shine your light in, let the whole world see we're singing for the glory of the risen king!"_

"Is all that stuff true," Vanessa had asked, "about Jesus conquering the grave without a Horcrux."

Instead of answering, Marie had allowed the Holy Spirit answer for her.

"_**It is true, my child, never doubt it. Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the one who was, and is, and is to come. His soul is also completely pure, so creating something as vile as a Horcrux would have been out of the question."**_

That bring us to the present, where Vanessa and Maria are in the middle of a hug/wrestling match. Maria lets Vanessa win. Pinning Maria to the floor, Vanessa squealed in triumph.

Then, Jesus showed up, making his presence known with a flash of divine light from which he materialized.

"**Vanessa, My child, how good it is to finally talk to you face to face. I am here because I have an important mission for you. In the fall, you will be invited to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You will, however, not be attending as a witch. Rather, you will be attending as My priestess. I am happy to say that the Headmistress, Luna Lovegood, is now Mine. She cannot, however, save My magical children from the sins of satanic witchcraft and sorcery on her own, as she is one sheep in a den of wolves. Magic is a word for something that cannot be otherwise explained in the natural. Everything that is considered magical is truly spiritual. It is, in origin, a gift from the Father. The enemy, however, is always seeking to corrupt what is pure. It is because of the evil one that your biological father was as twisted as he was. The dark side, however, is not the only thing that is corrupt. The so-called light side is corrupt in different ways. Only those who seek Me can avoid the inevitable corruption of the evil one. This is why I ask you, Vanessa Riddle, to take up My staff and My word and use them to fight the corruption of the evil one and save the lost."**

Vanessa nodded, eager to please the lover of her soul.

Jesus retrieved a wooden staff, of the same kind Moses and Aaron long ago used to free the Isrealites from slavery in Egypt. This one, however, was crafted by the King of Kings to be a surrogate wand. The staff parted, much like Lucius Malfoy's, to produce a wand-sized stick. The whole staff was infused with the power of the Holy Spirit and would use the purity in its holders spiritual core to cast miracles, or "spells" as they are called. The staff would repel any and all satanic magic. It was the perfect weapon for a servant of God. The other item He gave her was a divinely bound copy of the Holy Scriptures. It was printed in heavenly languages, but anyone reading it would see the words in their native tongue. It was the perfect evangelical tool for a servant of God.

"**Now, Vanessa Riddle, I will take you to Diagon Alley. I could get you everything you need, but what would the point in that be? You are my priestess, not my slave. You must be allowed to have ultimate control over what you take to Hogwarts."**

Jesus had, of course, answered unspoken questions. It was only natural for the omniscient being to exercise His omniscience, as He wanted Vanessa to know His power well enough not to fear those who could not touch her. He grabbed her, and without further ado transported her to the streets of Diagon Alley.

The first store the Messiah and His priestess visited was Flourish and Blotts. Despite having mostly atheistic customers, the wizarding book store had plenty of religious texts, including a whole shelf of christian literature. Many wizards find Muggle religion facinating. _If only they knew..._

Without any prompting from the founder of the religion, who found a satanic shelf to wreck in righteous anger, Vanessa bought a Strong's concordance, Ed Murphy's _Guide to Spiritual Warfare_, Lee Strobel's _A Case for Christ, A Case for Faith, A Case for the Real Jesus, _and _A Case for a Creator, _and many other books by Christian authors.

After buying all of the religious books she wanted, she scanned the text books with her staff. The staff would alert her if any book was dangerous, the Holy Spirit had told her. The room was cosmetically very cozy with browns and other comfortable colors in its scheme. The books however, ranged anywhere from an angry red to a soothing green. As she found out from the staff, the colors of the books didn't give any information about what was inside the books.

She bought every book that the staff approved of, because she loved to read. The gold in her pockets never ran out, and she has the King of Kings to thank for that. Every book she bought, she would place in a pile next to Jesus, who was still angry at the satanic books. When she was done, she tapped the pile of books with her staff, and they transported to her room back home.

The next stop was Madame Malkin's.

Madame Malkin took Vanessa's measurements.

Vanessa picked out her outfit. A modest, jet-black pencil-skirt was the first thing she bought, with a white blouse second, and a jet-black dress sweater third. The final touch was a simple, black cloak. She ordered five of each.

Madame Malkin asked if she needed anything else. Vanessa looked to Jesus, who said nothing. Shrugging, she shook her head.

She shopped for potion supplies third.

With a pewter cauldron and various potions ingredients obtained, Vanessa sat down on a bench and opened her bible. Getting comfortable, she proceeded to read it cover to cover. After that, she fell asleep in the arms of Jesus.

She woke up the next morning after sleeping more soundly than she did in a bed. Jesus took her to the Leaky Cauldron, where she found a room to change into her new outfit. The pencil skirt hugged her hips comfortably and the blouse was just as comfortable. This was a first. She looked like a professional and felt comfortable. The sweater and the cloak sheltered her from the breeze coming in through the windows. She loved it.

Jesus watched with pride as his priestess walked out of the changing room in her new clothes. Hogwarts wouldn't know what hit it.

When she walked up to him he wrapped his arms around her and transported her back home.

Maria almost cried when she saw her daughter's new look. The professional black and white accented the color in Vanessa's eyes beautifully.

After packing her books and clothes in her trunk, Vanessa hugged Jesus and thanked Him for all the help. Jesus dematerialized in a flash of divine light. Once He left, Vanessa parted her staff and placed the sheath in her trunk. She then strapped it to her left forearm. It would look like a wand and act as a Priestess' staff. Headmistress Lovegood would be the only one she would reveal its true nature to for now. Speaking of the headmistress, she would have to floo to Luna's office to get ready to evangelize Hogwarts.

Stepping into the Floo, she threw the powder and shouted, "Luna's office!"

She arrived at the headmistress' office where she was greeted by Luna Lovegood, the headmistress of Hogwarts.

"Hello, you must be Vanessa. Jesus told me you would be coming. Allow me to welcome you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Satan really likes to hang out here and screw with people. We're here to fight his influence," Luna said, a grin appearing on her face.

_I have indeed come to the right place._


	2. Chapter 2

Opening song:

When I am down and oh my soul so weary,

When troubles come and my heart burdened be,

Then I am still and wait here in the silence,

Until you come and sit a while with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains,

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas.

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders,

You raise me up to more than I can be.

* * *

Headmistress Lovegood greeted her students with her trademark over-hyper sprint between the inner tables, followed by a death-defying gymnastic flip before she landed in her luxurious chair. A perfect ten.

Tal, Captain of the Host, and his army applaud from their discreet position in the raptors. Luna looked up and smiled. To most people, this was just another one of her loony moments ie seeing things that other people in the room could not.

However, this time there was another in the room with tuned spiritual senses. Vanessa waved to Tal, who blew her a kiss in return.

After all this was said and done, the Sorting Hat started its song:

"You may travel as far as one can see,

but I challenge you to find a smarter hat than me.

I will know where each of you belong,

so don't be shy, come along.

Lady Slytherin, I bid you greeting,

so come and be sorted so that we may get eating.

So now I will cut this song short,

just be sure not to log in in any ministry report."

Then, for the first time in Hogwart's history, the sorting hat called a name.

"RIDDLE, VANESSA... come on down. I must sort you first, as is in accordance with your ancestor's wishes," (Cue simultaneous gasps across the great hall.)

Vanessa lifted her staff, pointed it to the ground, and tapped it twice. A stream of hot jet emissions propelled her across the great hall. She landed on her feet with such grace as to rival that of the headmistress' stunt.

With a quicker-than-thought prompt from the spirit, she places the Sorting Hat on her head.

"...you're on a mission to save the castle from its most loyal supporter, good luck with that one," the Sorting Hat laughed.

**_"Loyal supporter? Lucifer is as loyal as a snake, which is to say, not at all. Most members of Slytherin house, whose mascot is the snake, are more loyal than him. Lucifer only wishes to maintain control over Hogwart's so he uses every trick in the book to make himself seem indispensable. He has used these tactics since the beginning of__ time,"_ **Vanessa says in accordance with the Spirit.

"I know that, girl, I just don't see how you can convince others. Unless your God is as powerful as you believe he is, I'm afraid it's a lost cause," the Sorting Hat concluded.

"You don't have to worry about that, He is more powerful than any mortal can comprehend," Vanessa said sincerely.

"I hope for the sake of Hogwart's integrity that you are right, Lady Slytherin. Now, get lost. Go sit at the RAVENCLAW table. Don't let them give you crap about your title as Lady Slytherin. Dismissed," the Sorting Hat finished.

Vanessa joined the cheering Ravenclaw table. Everyone else was then sorted in the usual manner.

"BONES, REBEKAH" ... "HUFFLEPUFF"

"LOVEGOOD, MADISON" ... "RAVENCLAW"

"MALFOY, SIRIUS" ... "SLYTHERIN"

"POTTER, LILITH" ... "GRYFFINDOR"

(ETC)

* * *

At the end of the day, Vanessa and Luna met in the Headmistress' office.

"Coffee or tea? Luna asked as Vanessa sat down across from her.

"Coffee, please," Vanessa replied.

"Decaf, regular, or Goblin?" Luna asked.

"Whatever is strongest," Vanessa shrugged, not knowing anything about coffee other than the fact that she liked it, and the stronger, the better.  
"Goblin, then," Luna sighed, "in that case, I'll have tea. Winky!" The little elf appeared saying "Yes, Mistress?".

"I require a pot of Goblin coffee as well as a pot of tea," Luna ordered.

"Yes, Mistress," Winky said, apperating away. In a minute, Winky returned with a pot of Goblin coffee in her left hand and a pot of tea in her right. She handed them to her mistress with a bow.

Luna then poured tea for herself, and Goblin coffee for Vanessa.

Vanessa takes a gulp of Goblin coffee and gives a thumbs up. She then proceeds to drink her coffee in the manner of a proper English Lady. Luna found this humorous, barely avoiding comment. Then, after a moment of silence, it was down to business.

"So, how do you like my old house," Luna asked smirking, "be sure to watch out for Wrack-spurts. Oh, and those Nargles will get you if you're not careful. Do you have a current subscription to the Quibbler? You'll need a better source of news than that rag they call the Daily Prophet..."

"Professor Lovegood, slow down!" Vanessa yelled, unable to keep up.

"Ok," Luna nodded, popping a potioned lemon-drop into her mouth, "do you have a current subscription to the Quibbler?"

"Of course," Vanessa confirmed, acting like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Great," Luna smiled, "now to the most important question: what do you know about Crumble-Horned Snorkacks?"

After processing the information, Vanessa proceeds to lay out a per-designed speech including quotes from the Quibbler among other sources and her own personal conclusions. By the end of the speech, Luna could see exactly why the hat had chosen to place the girl in Ravenclaw.

By the time their meeting was over, the House Elf had replenished the pots of coffee and tea multiple times.

"You're one of the few people I know who can keep down Goblin coffee. There's an old saying, 'The measure of one's personal dedication is to be decided by their reaction to Goblin beverages.' I honestly wonder how you would react to goblin whiskey. Also, it would be interesting to see how your horses might react to goblin beer," Luna commented.

_Ok, I'm pretty sure I don't have horses. What's Luna trying to get at?_

"What?" Vanessa asked, confused.

"'Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.' It's a line favoured by a Muggle country singer named Toby Keith," Luna informed her.

"Oh," was all Vanessa could say to that.

"Well, you better get to bed. I'm sure Tal will be happy to flash you there, right Tal?" Luna asked, looking to the corner where the Captain of the Host was crouching, causing said Captain to straighten up.

"Sure thing, Luna. By the way, the Master sends his regards," Tal replied, then proceeded to pick up Vanessa and flashed her to the Ravenclaw common room.

"Take care, Priestess Vanessa," Tal said, "The souls of a great multitude rely on the success of your mission."

"Don't I know it," Vanessa sighed, "I'm so tired. Would you carry me to bed so that I don't pass out on the way"

"I'm sure the Master wouldn't mind," Tal replied, carrying the tired-out girl up to her dorm room and tucking her into bed.

"Good night, little Priestess," Tal whispered.

"Good night, Tal," Vanessa mumbled before passing out.

* * *

Storyline song(s):

Well a man come on the 6 o'clock news

Said somebody's been shot, somebody's been abused

Somebody blew up a building

Somebody stole a car

Somebody got away

Somebody didn't get too far yeah

They didn't get too far 

Grandpappy told my pappy, back in my day, son

A man had to answer for the wicked that he done

Take all the rope in Texas

Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys

Hang them high in the street for all the people to see that 

Justice is the one thing you should always find

You got to saddle up your boys

You got to draw a hard line

When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune

We'll all meet back at the local saloon

We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces

Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses 

We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds

We've got too much corruption, too much crime in the streets

It's time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground

Send 'em all to their maker and he'll settle 'em down

You can bet he'll set 'em down 'cause

Justice is the one thing you should always find

You got to saddle up your boys

You got to draw the hard line

When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune

We'll all meet back at the local saloon

We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces

Singing Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses

* * *

End song:

Love to say Your name

Love to feel it falling from my lips

Resonates with me

I love to say Your names

It's the way they tell me who You are

And I believe rnI love to see darkness flee

When I sing Elohim, my Creator

Adonai, Lord, my Master

My Provider, Jehovah-Jireh

God of blessings, El-Shaddai

I love to say Your name

Love to say Your name

Like a city on a hill, I will

Put them on display

Love to say Your name

There's a power and authority

Over my enemies

I love to see faces change when

I praise Elohim, my Creator

Adonai, Lord and Master

My Provider, Jehovah-Hireh

God of blessings, El-shaddai

I love to say Your name

El-Elyon, the Most High God

Jehovah-Shalom, the Peace of my heart

Jehovah-Rapha, God, my Healer

Jehovah-Shammah, never leaves us nor forsakes us

I praise Elohim, my Creator

Adonai, Lord and Master

My Provider, Jehovah-Jireh

God of blessings, El-Shaddai

I love to say Your name

I love to say Your name

I love to say Your name

I love to say Your name


End file.
